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Creating Healthy Boundaries in Marriage

By John and Jaimi Jones
Healthy Boundaries in Marriage protect and create security for each other. They are also an example to others, showing we value and respect the Marriage Relationship.
Creating Healthy Boundaries in Marriage

Healthy Boundaries in Marriage protect and create security for each other. They are also an example to others, showing we value and respect the Marriage Relationship. We want to encourage you to look at three areas in which boundaries are important. As you discuss these areas, pray and listen to each other, agree on the boundaries to create unity and security.

Work:

What boundaries have you put into place regarding the opposite sex? We have heard people talk about their work husband or work wife. This term is defined as "Work spouse", a phrase used often in America, referring to a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex, with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage. These kinds of relationships are not good for your marriage. This is a good way to head straight for an affair which often begins with an emotional affair that turns into a sexual affair. Talk about ways you can put good boundaries in place to avoid this all too common relationship.

What boundaries have you put into place regarding your conversations with co-workers about your husband or wife and your marriage? A good rule to follow is, if they are not part of the problem or part of the solution, they probably should not be part of the conversation. If you have an issue that the two of you cannot work out together, you might want to talk with a pastor or counselor.

What boundaries have you put into place when you travel for business? Do you travel with the opposite sex for work? What activities do you participate in? Travel can be a difficult time of separation from each other and it is often a great time of temptation. Discuss with each other how you will safeguard your marriage. You are not only protecting your own marriage, but you are setting an example for others.

Social:

Do you have shared social media accounts? Would someone looking at your account know you are married? Are you careful and intentional about the pages you like and follow? Do you post things that build each other up and show unity and oneness in your marriage? We have agreed we can pick up each other's phone at any time and view messages, calls, and internet history. This creates a safe and secure connection between us.

Who are the friends you spend time with? Do your friends build you up and encourage you as a couple? Every marriage has struggles. When you are going through a tough time, do your friends encourage you to work things out in your marriage or do they disrespect your spouse and your marriage?

Where do you go as a couple? Do you frequent places separately that you would not go to together? What establishments do you support with your money? Are they for or against marriage? The way we spend our time and money is a reliable reflection of how we honor God and our marriage.

Covenant Relationship:

What shows/movies do you watch? Do they depict positive roles of men and women based on God's Design? Do they honor marriage?

What boundaries have you established for keeping your bedroom safe and secure? This is one, if not the most important, boundary you can put in place. Your bedroom is the area of your home where you share as husband and wife intimately. 

There are three things we recommend occurring in the bedroom of a husband and wife. The first is changing clothes, and we encourage you to have fun with this and do it in front of your spouse.  The second thing the bedroom is created for is to sleep, which is best done in a peaceful surrounding with as few distractions as possible.  The third thing the bedroom is created for is a space for you and your spouse to come together intimately during sex. 

Protect your bedroom!  We encourage you to not allow pets or children to sleep with you. Now, before you throw this idea out the window, we ask you to spend some time praying. It has been our experience, and research supports, everyone in the family benefits from this boundary. We also suggest you do not bring a television into the bedroom. When you watch television in the bedroom, you are inviting in a huge distraction.

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John Jones:
405-250-2905
john@edge-ministries.org

Jaimi Jones:
210-913-8333
jaimi@edge-ministries.org

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